Whoever created the tradition of not seeing the bride in the wedding dress beforehand saved countless husbands everywhere from hours of dress shopping and will forever be a hero to all men.

We laugh at dogs getting excited when they hear a bark on TV, but if TV was a nonstop stream of unintelligible noises and then someone suddenly spoke to you in your language, you'd be pretty startled too.

When you're a kid, you don't realize you're also watching your mom and dad grow up.

Dads probably bond with dogs so much because, in our society, men don’t get shown a lot of affection but dogs give tons of affection regardless

Being able to tolerate the sound of your own voice in a video is probably the highest form of self-acceptance.

Girls don't compliment guys because they're likely to take it non-platonically, guys take it non-platonically because it happens so infrequently they don't know how to handle it

If elevators hadn't been invented, all the CEOs and important people would have their offices on the first floor as a sign of status. And the entry-level employees would be up on the 80th floor.

Being able to do well in high school without having to put in much effort is actually a big disadvantage later in life.

During a nuclear explosion, there is a certain distance of the radius where all the frozen supermarket pizzas are cooked to perfection.

Anxiety is like when video game combat music is playing but you can't find any enemies.

Pavlov probably thought about feeding his dogs every time someone rang a bell.

11 babies have been born in Antarctica, and none of them died as infants, meaning Antarctica has the lowest infant mortality rate at 0%

We do not check the refrigerator multiple times to find new food, we check to see if our standards have dropped enough to eat what was available.

The sentence "Don't objectify women" has "women" as the object of the sentence.

Somebody at Google was just like "yeah, just have someone drive down every road on earth".

College students don't want to go to graduation ceremonies, but they go to please their relatives, while relatives don't want to go but go to support the students; we should all just be honest and skip that ceremony and go out for pizza.

There is probably at least one white guy, adopted and raised in China, who speaks English with a Chinese accent and strangers just assume he’s a total a-----le.

Apparently, a lemon is not naturally occurring and is a hybrid developed by crossbreeding a bitter orange and a citron. Life never gave us lemons; we invented them all by ourselves.

Being 35 and not wanting to work in the field for which you've prepared is like being halfway through an RPG and realizing you've built out your skill tree all wrong and you can't respec and you can't make a new character and there will never be another video game again

The internet both almost killed off the postal service with email and then made it more needed than ever with online delivery

Humans cannot even live in harmony with their own species and somehow still convince themselves that meeting an extraterrestrial species would go smoothly

It kinda makes sense that the target audience for fidget spinners lost interest in them so quickly

Coffee makes you hyper, but coffee shops are designed for people to chill, whereas alcohol is a depressant but bars and clubs are designed for people to be energetic.

Since there are 3600 seconds in an hour, and most people make less than $36.00/hr, their time is worth less than a penny per second. It's literally worth your time to pick up a penny from the ground.

You aren't paid according to how hard you work, you are paid according to how hard you are to replace